01 x 03 SQUEEZE

1X03 Squeeze

This episode takes place between 7/22/1993 and 7/25/1993

Now on this assignment it doesn’t appear Dana and Fox are extravagant in their spending habits. However, and I will address these specific issues when I come to them, their reporting is most likely inaccurate in this case. At one point, Fox makes a 46 mile drive in approximately 3 minutes. But I digress. Keep in mind all costs are in present day (2020) rates; but the 1993 rates can be examined in my budget breakdown.

Tom Coulton, a former classmate of Dana’s asks for specifically Dana’s help to create with a killer profile for a murder he’s investigating. Some guy named Upsher was murdered in his office. Why on Earth would Coulton not ask for Fox’s help is anyone’s guess. Fox specializes in criminal profiling and his work led to the arrest of Monty Propps in 1988. Scully’s skill in criminal profiling is far less renown.

Dana and Fox drive to Upsher’s office in TWO SEPARATE government cars (as opposed to riding together). This drive is about 26 miles and at a government reimbursement rate of 28 cents per mile in 1993 that converts to roughly $46 spent (in today’s money)

Fox takes a fingerprint from an air vent in Upsher’s office and brings it back to DC (another $46 for the drive). Mulder immediately thinks someone fit through the air duct to get into the office to eat the guy’s liver. Makes total sense.

The following day Dana writes the criminal profile of the killer, despite her having no background in psychology like Fox. She then travels back to Baltimore ($46) and is offered OVERTIME for a stakeout at Upsher’s office building. She drives a 1993 Cutlass Cierra. We can see this vehicle has Maryland plates as opposed to DC so it could be a rental, but I will be generous and bill for a government car because that would make more sense.

To calculate Dana’s overtime I used the following https://archives.fbi.gov/archives/news/pressrel/press-releases/fbi-jobs. It states the average salary of an agent upon graduation ranges from $53,743 to $58,335 depending upon the locality pay of their geographic assignment. To make math easier and because of her expertise I used a salary of $60000 annually which translates to about $30/hr (using 2000 work hours in 1 year). Pay and half would then be $45/hr, therefore a 6 hour stakeout would run $270 in present day money.

Fox meets Dana during this stakeout (so he had to have taken a separate car, $46) and almost ruins the whole damn thing.

He’s got a bag of sunflower seeds that he better have purchased with his own personal money. Fox tells Dana he doesn’t think she’s going to see the killer during her stakeout and that he’s going to go home. So why on Earth did he drive all the way to Baltimore to tell her this only to go back home? This could have been communicated via phone call to Dana’s government paid cell phone. I assume he’s entitled to overtime as well ($270). Now Fox and Dana run into Eugene and therefore must spend the night in Baltimore in two separate hotel rooms. They end up staying here 2 nights running approximately $376.

The next day 7/23/1993 they order a polygraph test for Eugene Tooms (an average cost of $699 ). He is let go because the polygraph doesn’t provide enough evidence to hold Eugene. At the precinct Mulder talks to Scully and touches her necklace for no reason in an oddly creepy and foreshadowing way.

Then Dana and Fox go to a computer and use this Crazy Ass Wizard Fingerprint Software (CAWFS) that allows them to stretch the fingerprint they found on the air vent back to a normal size and then compare it to Eugene’s fingerprint taken god knows when and they find a 100% match. Not 90%, not 80%. 100%. I’ve never seen such sorcery before quite like this and I’ve watched all 8 Harry Potter films.

That evening a man tries to light a fire in his home but the flames die off due to the lack of oxygen in the fireplace (could something be lurking in the chimney?). I have some problems with this. How often do people actually light fires in their fireplaces, and furthermore o one would light a fire in their house in JULY. It’s freaking July. I checked the weather for 7/23/1993 and there was no rain and night temps were around 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Anyway Eugene presumably comes down this guy’s chimney and eats his liver.

The next day Fox and Dana go to the fireplace scene and find another stretchy fingerprint. Then they go back to the police station.

Fox and Dana travel to Lynne Acres retirement home to speak to a cop who worked on a case similar to this one. He tells the agents he’s waited 25 years to talk to someone about Eugene. Sounds dramatic to me. 

They then go to Eugene’s apartment. They climb into a coal cellar where Scully’s necklace is taken. Apparently not only does Eugene eat livers, stretch and fit through airvents, build nests out of bile and newspapers, and hibernate for 30 years after eating 5 livers, but he also takes trophies from his victims. Mulder says he will stake out overnight. Dana goes back to the precinct then heads to her apartment ($46).

While in her house and about to take a bubble bath slime comes down from her air vent. Dana drops the glass bottle with her bubble bath soap ($8.99). Dana grabs her gun then Eugene breaks her air vent and attacks her. He also cuts her phone line which is conveniently labelled “Scully”.

Now during this attack Fox tries to call Scully but she does not pick up; if the call isn’t picked up in 1993 then there is no cell charge. Fox calls Scully from Eugene’s apartment where he was staking out. Then within 3 minutes Fox kicks down Scully’s apartment door ($499) to rescue Dana. This doesn’t make sense. Again this is a 46 mile drive. Based on his outgoing call Scully would have been struggling with Eugene for a good 35 minutes or Fox would have had to drive close to 140 MPH in a 1993 Cierra Cutlass to have arrived at her apartment in DC to save her. 

The map above shows the drive from Eugene’s apartment to Scully’s apartment, a drive Mulder could not have made in 3 minutes.

And based on Eugene’s previous killings he would not have struggled to kill Dana for 35 minutes. Clearly there is an error here.

At the end of the report Dana and Fox visit Eugene’s jail cell. It’s not specified if this is in DC or Baltimore, so I will give them the benefit of the doubt. 

Compared to their previous outings so far, they didn’t spend a huge amount of money. They spent $2621.04. It’s not a small amount of money but we did get an arrest out of it. I wouldn’t necessarily call this case a failure because of arrest, but diligence, care, and management of the team could have reduced this budget significantly. Mulder’s lucky Scully didn’t shoot him. Oh and 2 years later Tooms escapes from his jail cell…